How do you feel when you think about exercise?
Does the word "Exercise" make you uncomfortable?
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When I gave workshops on weight control, I sometimes referred to exercise as “The E Word.” Many of the participants had bad feelings about their attempts to exercise. If I just said “exercise” I noticed that some people in the audience would shudder and seem to groan or just have sour expressions on their faces. Why did this word provoke such negative reactions? How did you feel when you saw the word in the title of this post?
If any of this resonates for you, look back at any exercising that you’ve done. Was it playing a sport? Did you go to a gym or an exercise class? Maybe you tried an activity on your own like aerobic dancing, jogging, or lifting weights. Whatever it was, stop for a moment and picture yourself in the midst of that activity. Watch yourself doing it… then recall what you were thinking at the time. In addition to remembering the physical sensations you felt, you probably were evaluating your performance. Did you have thoughts like:
· I don’t know how to do this
· People can see that I’m not doing it right. It’s embarrassing
· My goal was…but I’ll never get there
· I’m doing it wrong; this isn’t for me
Amanda, a 38-year-old workshop participant told me that she joined an aerobic dance class but just couldn’t “get the hang” of the dance moves. She felt that she was out of step and felt foolish when her hands were up in the air while everyone else had finished that move.
If you’ve had similar experiences with any activity, one possible reason for your discomfort with it is a result of performance anxiety. This is the fear that you’ll make a mistake, do it incorrectly, or embarrass yourself in front of other people who will judge you harshly.
According to Dr. Sari Shepphird, a noted sports psychologist, it’s counterproductive to judge or criticize yourself when you make a mistake when exercising. Instead, she suggests that you can choose what to pay attention to and learn to focus your attention on the task at hand. You can ignore concerns about your performance. Don’t worry if it’s good enough, or how it will be seen by others. Instead, practice a non-judgmental attitude while you’re doing the activity.
Here are some things you can say to yourself when self-doubt takes over:
· Who cares how well I’m doing? All that matters is that I’m doing it
· I don’t give a *&^$# what anyone thinks of my performance; this isn’t a performance!
· Maybe it’s not going as well as the last time, but I’m still sticking with it now
· I don’t feel so coordinated this time but who cares?
I asked Amanda if she still enjoyed dancing. She enthusiastically answered, “YES!” I encouraged her to continue attending the aerobic dance class but to challenge the thinking that led to her performance anxieties. With some practice, she was able to accept that her dancing wouldn’t be perfect. Amanda was doubtful but told herself, “so what if I’m out of synch with the rest of the class. I’m enjoying moving my body to the music.” Initially, it was hard but after several weeks she reported that when she cut out the self-criticism she had fun. Not surprisingly, she was more in synch with the rest of the class.
Often performance anxiety is combined with other issues making exercise difficult (more about this in future posts) but decreasing performance anxiety is a start to help you tackle your bad feelings about exercise.
Hold This Thought: Don’t evaluate your performance. Keep an accepting, non-judgmental attitude while exercising.
You may be worried about hurting the feelings of friends, neighbors, or family who might benefit from this advice. Lazybones is a friendly resource and may be most effective when shared. Give it a try and let me know what happens.
I agree--great advice!
And it isn't just self-criticism. When you're in the gym, there will ALWAYS be someone ready to criticize what you're doing. Recently a world-class body-builder and teacher wrote that a younger guy commented that he wasn't using his full range of motion when doing his pull-ups. The teacher replied that now that he's over 60, he's more concerned about preventing injuries than "perfect form," and that 80-90% range of motion is a lot better than not doing the exercise at all.
Do the best you can. Just do it!
Fantastic advice! Sometimes we put more focus on how other people think, than the thing we're trying to do.